Not everyone finds it easy to talk about the hardest moments in their lives. But some New York City firefighters who were working on September 11, 2001, a day when 343 of their colleagues were killed, find that telling stories and keeping history alive helps.
“What we saw on that day, and in the days and the weeks and the months that followed, nobody should see," said Sal Cassano, who was among those quickly promoted to lead the FDNY after 9/11, when many of its top chiefs and rescue specialists were killed.
At times, Cassano found himself wondering why he’d survived that day, when so many others hadn’t. His wife told him that his life had a purpose.
Cassano dedicated himself to rebuilding the fire department. He was promoted to chief of operations, then chief of the FDNY, then commissioner, before he retired in 2014.
“They told us that the effects of September 11th would hit people in different stages: right away, a year, two years, 10 years, 20 years. They said it would take time for it to hit people. It's still hitting people, believe me. Our counseling unit is busy," said Cassano, now 81.
Running and meditating have also helped Cassano, who is among hundreds of retired firefighters who have taken part in a nationwide tour with a foundation called Tunnel to Towers, which visited Sarasota earlier this year.
The Steel Across America tour carried a 16,900-pound beam from the World Trade Center site to 35 cities, making stops so people could see the relic up close and hear from first responders about the heroism seen on that day.
“Some people will never recover from that event. It's just too painful, too traumatic. But I think for me, more you talk about it, the more you revisit it, the good memories of the people that were lost that day will be more in your mind than the painful memories," said Cassano.
Tunnel to Towers honors the memory of firefighter Stephen Siller. His family started the foundation after Siller, a firefighter in Brooklyn’s Squad 1, was killed on 9/11. He had finished his shift that morning but rushed to the World Trade Center, on foot, through the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel.
“Our mission is to never forget what my father did that day, what thousands of brave men and women did that day,” said his son Stephen Siller, Jr. during a stop in Sarasota in May.
The tour culminates at the World Trade Center, returning the beam to Ground Zero, on September 11, 2026.
“I think when we get back to New York, it's going to be incredibly special. We're going to have educated thousands of people on what happened on September 11, on how many great American heroes there were,” Siller said.
Mental health in the FDNY
The 25th anniversary of September 11, 2001 comes at a time of major changes in the New York City Fire Department. Most of those who were working that day are now retired. Just 810 remain on active duty, of a force numbering about 11,000.
More first responders have died from illnesses and cancers related to the recovery work – 441 -- than were killed on the day itself, according to the FDNY press office.
The FDNY said it does not keep statistics on suicides, but such deaths are known to be in the triple digits, according to firefighters.
“I lost one of our firefighters last year through suicide for post-traumatic stress disorder,” said John LaBarbera, retired captain of Engine Company 240 in Brooklyn.
He said while the FDNY has made strides in caring for the mental health of its staff, seeking out help was a challenge for many, especially after 9/11.
"We were told there were therapists, and they were wonderful. But I was reluctant to go talk. Macho thing? Sign of weakness? Probably. Talking to somebody, from my point of view at that time, it just brought it all back," he said.
"We did a lot of drinking after 9-11 after the funerals, obviously, and you know that was the fireman's way of getting through tough times," said Jack Oehm, a retired battalion commander.
Understanding that firefighters found it easier to talk with other firefighters about their struggles, the FDNY had started a small peer counseling unit a few years prior to 9/11. It has since grown into the hundreds.
“We made it clear that a mentally healthy fire department is an efficient fire department,” said Kirk Lester, who has long been a part of the FDNY counseling unit. He sought help for substance abuse in the 1990s, then pursued post-graduate studies and became a peer counselor.
“We do visits on a regular basis, even non-trauma associated. We have special training now for suicide prevention. What to look for, and what we suggest that the other guys look for in the firehouse for mental health breakdowns that could cause somebody to harm themselves or be a harm to somebody else,” said Lester.
“9/11 has made the fire department counseling unit extremely proactive,” said Lester. Part of their job is triage, figuring out if someone needs more help than they can offer, and making the appropriate referral, in time.
It’s a far cry from the old days, when the thinking went: “There was nothing that a beer and a pretty girl couldn’t fix,” added Lester.
Lester also volunteers with the Tunnel to Towers Foundation and is part of Grill Team Six, the crew that puts on cookouts at events. The foundation also builds and renovates mortgage-free homes for injured veterans and first responders.
Giving back is a big part of what keeps them healthy, said Oehm, a Tunnel to Towers Foundation board member. He also gives tours at the 9/11 Museum in New York.
“I keep the memories alive by talking about what those guys did, the 20 guys I lost in my battalion, the guys in my firehouse where I was a lieutenant, those guys all died,” Oehm said.
“My own brother never talks about it, so you know, just different people, different personalities, whatever helps you. I don't judge."
